Wednesday, September 26, 2007

We Were Loving Like a Landslide.

Top 5 Things Going On In My Life:

1. While I was in Iowa I was asked to submit a short piece of fiction to a book to be published by the local newspaper The Press Citizen. I did and apparently it got in. Word is that the person who read the submissions called it "seamless" which I hope is a good thing. I kinda worry that they meant it this way:

"Hey, did you read that Petrick kid's story?"
"Yeah. Horrible. It was the narrative equivalent to having a bag pulled over my head!"
"I agree. A cloth bag. One where at first it is just KINDA hard to breath but eventually you can't breath at all. Do you know why?"
"Yes. Because the cloth bag is SEAMLESS."
"Exactly. SEAMLESS. That is the word that I would use to describe both the story and the figurative 'bag over the head' that it represents to me. SEAMLESS."

I feel like this scenario is the most probable one and thus, it is the one I choose to believe.

However, even if that IS what they meant, the story got in. Which is nice.

I had a dream that Dave Eggers chose it to be included in the "Best American Non-Required Reading 2008" annual book that he edits. My dream went so far as to include me reading the story for the audio publication of the anthology. It was pretty great.

I'm kinda worried that it will wind up just being some poorly put together photocopied pieces with a cheap Kinkos spiral binding. Dave Eggers wouldn't be impressed by that. Dave Eggers expects only the best.

2. So I'm going to do something I vowed to never do again. I'm entering a music video contest. Dashboard Confessional is having a contest sponsored by MySpace (not a good sign) asking fans of the band to direct a music video for their next single. The winning video gets some money, some backstage passes and I guess some DC merch. Most importantly though, they win the opportunity to have the video be the OFFICIAL video for the band and play on MTV (presumably during the 14 collective minutes that MTV is not playing The Hills or reruns of the VMAs). After the frustrating results of the Yellowcard contest that Andrew and I entered a few years back as well as the innumerable screenwriting contest that I've partaken in, I told myself that contests based on the quality of an artistic venture is silly. Especially since so much of it is based on opinion. That said, mine is always the best. Just kidding. Well- sorta. So why do I always lose? Your guess is as good as mine. It would be one thing to lose to something that was of at least nominal quality- but they always suck. Seriously. This trend has followed me for years and been highlighted by such adventures as: the very first Project Greenlight, the Sundance Film Festival for the past 3 years, the School of Visual Arts sponsored "Dusty" awards, the Zoetrope screenwriting contest for the past three years and, recently, the Landlocked and Annapolis Film Festivals (respectively).

My reasons for partaking in this contest are unknown, even to me. Perhaps I just wanted something to do. A project to work on that would be both easy and fun. I think the fact that I still remember the days of being Chris Carrabba's number one fan also played a big part of my participation. The many days and nights of treating his lovelorn lyrics like a warm security blanket right out of the dryer still linger in my memory and though, over the years, my fandom as well as the intimacy of the music itself has waned, how could I resist?

So I shot a video last Saturday with Ruby and Keir. It turned out much better than I had even hoped. I feel like we might actually have a chance. That said, this could be just another in a seemingly endless series of disappointments and I am doing my very best to be prepared for it. My very, very best. For those who may not know me, I tend to not only over imagine something, but to take it to a level of exaggeration that leaves the world of Planet Earth's reality pretty far behind. We're talkin' Star Wars land here, okay? A galaxy far, far away.

In my mind, it not only WINS the contest but Chris calls me personally to tell me that he wept. WEPT! While watching my video. It was everything he had ever wanted a music video to be but never knew it could. He then asks, nay, BEGS me to go on tour with him, shooting a documentary of the tour and showing footage behind him as he plays. On tour we become like brothers. We share deep personal wounds from the past and lament the woes of the world's artistic expectations. We get matching tats and give each other cute little nicknames like Crabs (him) and Tricky (me). Routinely, while playing a show, he'll get so overcome with joy at the bonding we've been experiencing that he'll invite me on stage, hand me his guitar and ask me to play with him- which culminates in him inviting me to join the band. I politely decline because, frankly since winning the contest, I just don't have the time because the offers have been flooding in. CHRIS I'M SORRY! I WOULD LOVE TO BUT I JUST CAN'T! I NEED TO FOCUS ON ME FOR A WHILE! WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?!

I realize that this will never happen but still. It could. Right?

3. Here is a list of what I have been listening to:

I: Stars - In Our Bedroom After The War
II: Motion City Soundtrack – Even if it kills me.
III: Cloud Cult - The Meaning of 8
IV: Hot Hot Heat - Happiness Ltd.
V: Jeremy Fisher – Goodbye Blue Monday
VI: Kanye West – Graduation
VII: Rogue Wave - Asleep At Heaven's Gate
VIII: Small Sins – Mood Swings/Self Titled

I'd write more but I'm not sure if the proper Roman numeral is IX or not- so, let's just leave it at that, shall we?

Okay just ONE more! I can't seem to get away from Phoenix's "It's Never Been Like That". What a great record.

4. I'm tired all the time. I have sudden, inexplicable surges of feeling like I am going to suddenly burst into tears at any second. I jump at the slightest human contact. Am I dying on the inside? Is this what that feels like?

5. Today I was so desperate to seem even just a little intimidating to some 13-year-old Mexican class room troublemakers that I told them that in a fight I once bit a guy's ear off.

I don't think they bought it.

Sleep Well.


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